The Real Deal

This one's for Kiki! I beat you to the cookie pics. I picked up a couple of the black and whites today and these pictures are of the actual cookies I bought.

Ah, the Yin and Yang of it all.

Let's get some mood lighting up in this mofo...

The aftermath.

Luckily I did not get sick like Jerry, it would have been my first upchuck since 2005 if I had. And as you can see, aside from the first couple of bites it is impossible to get both white and black in one bite as Jerry advocates because the cookie is as big as yo face. It has almost more of a cake-like consistency rather than cookie-like. Oh so good.

Happy Birthday, What You Ate, Happy Birthday To You

I have now been blogging for one year. Wow. I wasn’t sure if this thing was going to last this long but I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. It’s been a hell of year too – I got fired, three (more) women told me to get lost (four if you go back 13 months), found a new job, lost about 20 pounds, took the GRE, started school, had my heart broken, went on anti-depressants, went to some great concerts, hurt my knee and had to stop running, went to 3 out 4 “A” states, finally got a digital camera, finally got DSL, and learned a hell of a lot about myself in the process. And if a lot of that seems negative, I’m hoping for the “whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger” effect. It reminds me of the Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

I’ve also made some great blog friends, and lost a few too. One of my reasons for starting this blog in the first place was that I wanted to see if I could feel like part of a community, and that has come to pass. It makes my day when I see a comment or visit from you guys, and I like keeping up with what you all are doing too. It does feel kind of like a family to me. I’ve even grown fond of some of the regular lurkers. I have been inspired (and humbled) by many of your posts and artistic endeavors. Thanks everyone for making this such a great experience.

Um, What The Hell Happened?

Don't know how or why the 'Elevator Talk' post got reposted today (it was originally posted on July 19). I won't delete it since Michelle commented on it. But what the hell? I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that until yesterday I never visited my blog from work (because I didn't want anyone at work finding out about it), so I attempted to email a couple of posts. The first email posting worked, but the last 2 times didn't. I think the elevator post was one I attempted to post via email and it didn't post, so I posted it from home later. Maybe the email just made it through today? If that's the case there should be another duplicate at some point. Weird.

Elevator Talk

Update: This post is a repeat of July 19, if you read that one this isn't new!

One of the bad things about my new job is that I am now subjected to the beating of having to use an elevator everyday. What is it about elevators that make them so tense? I think it’s because you are forced to be closer to people than the normal boundaries of personal space would dictate. Now, I imagine if you live in New York City or some other crowded metropolis you may think elevators are no big deal because you are constantly surrounded by tons of people, but that’s not how it is around here. People drive to work in their own car by themselves, and neighborhoods are really spread out, so you just aren’t used to having people jammed in so close. Public transport is almost non-existent. I think this is why I would go freakin’ nuts if I lived in New York City.

The elevator experience is just so weird. You either have complete silence because everyone is so tense, or you have the one guy who tries to make small talk but no one really wants to participate so they laugh nervously. If you’re on the elevator with someone you know it seems like a relief since you can hold a somewhat normal conversation. Here are some of my elevator thoughts:

• Something that never helps is that you are forced to ride the elevator first thing when you get to work and last thing when you leave, which for me are probably the two worst possible times for me to be jammed in with strangers. In the morning I don’t want anyone talking to me before 9, much less a foot away from me. And by the end of the day I am beat down from having to interact with people, so I just want to get the hell out of there.
• God forbid you catch an elevator with the person who just finished their smoke break and smells like a dirty ashtray. That smell can literally give me a headache sometimes. Yesterday after lunch I lucked out because just as this woman walked up who declared to her companion that she had another pack of cigarettes upstairs (trust me, from her voice I’d wager she had a carton upstairs) two elevators arrived, allowing me to take the one that wouldn’t give me lung cancer by proxy.
• I can’t stand the people that bum rush the elevator right when the doors open before allowing the people inside to exit.
• I also can’t stand the people that insist on cramming in even though the elevator is obviously already full. There are 5 other ones, people.
• Some people smell really gross.
• Some people smell really good.
• Line butters or Johnny-come-latelies. Especially in the morning and after lunch there can be a lot of people waiting for an elevator. Sometimes when the elevator takes a while to arrive, people will show up right before the elevator arrives and then try to be the first to get in before all the other people who have been waiting for a minute or two. These are kind of like the bum-rush people; they think it’s all about them (when it’s obviously all about me).
• Luckily I haven’t experienced the elevator fart yet.
• Some people act like they’re doing you a huge favor if you have to ask them to push the button for your floor. Jerks.
• Damn this is a long post.

I wanted to throw in one other thing that happened yesterday that was not elevator-related, but definitely freaked me out. Cutting your fingernails at work is borderline behavior, although I will admit that I used to cut my fingernails sometimes in my own cubicle at my last job, so I can let it slide if you’re at your own desk that I don’t have to touch or look at. But bringing your nail clippers to my workspace and then cutting your nails as you stand there and talk to me? As the nail clippings land on the floor of my cubicle? Not cool, and very gross.

Elevator Addendum & Self Diagnosis

This should have gone in my elevator post from last week, but I just thought about it yesterday. Is it possible that the “Up” elevator button on the first floor of the building where I work could be the dirtiest piece of real estate on God’s green earth? Think about it, a large majority of the people entering the building end up pressing that button, and who knows where the hell they have been? Picking their nose, scratching their nether regions, etc. I am a high-functioning germophobe, meaning that even though the thought that that button is horribly dirty doesn’t keep me from pressing it, but I use my knuckle and I make sure to wash my hands soon after arriving at work.

I think I’m going to be spending a good deal of the weekend naked. And not for any fun reasons. I’ve developed a self-diagnosed case of contact dermatitis, I’m thinking from fabric softener. I determined last year that I am allergic to fabric softener sheets, so I have since started using liquid fabric softener. Apparently I’m now allergic to that too. It must be the fragrance that it contains that’s irritating my skin. I have been using it on pretty much every load of laundry, are you only supposed to use it occasionally? I think to be safe I’ll just quit using it entirely.

Nobody Cares What I Ate For Lunch

But I'm going to tell you anyway. I loves me some rye bread. And I loves me some dark rye bread. So when I saw the loaf of marble rye, I had to get it. And of course I thought of this Seinfeld episode. Not sure what's up with the gaping hole in the bread, I'm not sure if that's inherent to the marbling process or what. It's damn tasty bread, though.



There's a nearby deli run by a New Yorker that I go to occasionally, and he has black & white cookies. Which of course make me think of this Seinfeld episode. And I almost always get one, even though in the show the cookie made Jerry quite ill. Now I've just got to find a chocolate babka.

The Homeowners ASSociation or Sir, Please Trim Your Bush

I received a nice little mash note a week ago Friday from my friendly neighborhood homeowner's association. They want me to prune a shrubbery that I planted to hide an ugly electric transformer box near the street. In days of yore I would have ignored this request, but the HOA has become rather nasty lately and have gotten pretty gung-ho about levying fines. And I while I think this is a bush-league request (hardy har har), what're you gonna do?

I really didn't want to have to prune this shrub, but I guess it's better than having to cut it down completely. It's a waxleaf ligustrum, though, so it can grow to be about 15 to 20 feet tall, so I'll probably have to prune it often.

I like how they had to create a special sticker for this complaint. Their request was a bit general, telling someone "Prune your hedge" is a bit like telling someone "Drive your car". Do you want it shorter, skinner, thinned out, what the hell do you want?! I decided to do my own interpretation, I'm sure if they don't like it they'll let me know.

Before:

After:

Self Portrait Tuesday 4 - Self Portrait As...

Gene Simmons

For this week's SPT, we're going back to the halcyon days of 1978. Disco, Jimmy Carter, and KISS! This photo was taken after a trip to my elementary school Halloween carnival. I wish I would have hammed it up a bit more, you know stick out my tongue and whatnot, but I was only 6 so cut me some slack.

More SPTs here.

Again With The Sunrise?

Here's another sunrise pic. I took it last week, I wish I had been able to sit and watch it for a while as it developed, but I had to go to work. Stupid work.

Police Chases Are Stupid

Today there has been a police chase on television. Um, as of right now it's been on for about three and a half hours. On all the local stations. Is this really necessary? My favorite part is all the people who have stopped what they are doing to stand there and watch as if it were OJ and Al. "Look Bubba, it's a truck and it's going 15 miles an hour! And the po-lice are right behind him!"

Die Wired

Ever wondered how much of your favorite caffeinated beverage it would take to kill you? Yeah, me neither. But if you are interested, check this out! I can still have 70 more cups of coffee today with no worries!

Bedhead

I love Saturday morning bedhead.

How Hot Is It?

I’ve got some type of irritation inside my left nostril. It’s kind of making my nose look like W.C. Fields. I’ll just tell everyone that it’s due to my drinking problem.

Just like everywhere else in the US, it’s been really hot here this week. It hit 107 on Tuesday (not a record but still hot). The thing that has surprised me about this heat wave is how little I’ve noticed it. I’m pretty disconnected from the out of doors these days. I work indoors, I have air conditioning in my car, and I park in a parking garage at work. About the only time I have noticed the heat has been when I go outside to water my sun-scorched basil plants.

Another reason I’m not outside as much is that I still haven’t been able to run since I quit in March when my knee started hurting. I really miss it although it wouldn’t be too pleasant this time of year. I still have pain in my knee when it is bent for long periods of time, and I don’t want to screw it up further by running on it. I haven’t felt much like walking lately either. I need to go to the orthopedic specialist, but my health insurance hasn’t been activated yet!! That’s the next battle.

Elevator Talk

One of the bad things about my new job is that I am now subjected to the beating of having to use an elevator everyday. What is it about elevators that make them so tense? I think it’s because you are forced to be closer to people than the normal boundaries of personal space would dictate. Now, I imagine if you live in New York City or some other crowded metropolis you may think elevators are no big deal because you are constantly surrounded by tons of people, but that’s not how it is around here. People drive to work in their own car by themselves, and neighborhoods are really spread out, so you just aren’t used to having people jammed in so close. Public transport is almost non-existent. I think this is why I would go freakin’ nuts if I lived in New York City.

The elevator experience is just so weird. You either have complete silence because everyone is so tense, or you have the one guy who tries to make small talk but no one really wants to participate so they laugh nervously. If you’re on the elevator with someone you know it seems like a relief since you can hold a somewhat normal conversation. Here are some of my elevator thoughts:

* Something that never helps is that you are forced to ride the elevator first thing when you get to work and last thing when you leave, which for me are probably the two worst possible times for me to be jammed in with strangers. In the morning I don’t want anyone talking to me before 9, much less a foot away from me. And by the end of the day I am beat down from having to interact with people, so I just want to get the hell out of there.
*God forbid you catch an elevator with the person who just finished their smoke break and smells like a dirty ashtray. That smell can literally give me a headache sometimes. Yesterday after lunch I lucked out because just as this woman walked up who declared to her companion that she had another pack of cigarettes upstairs (trust me, from her voice I’d wager she had a carton upstairs) two elevators arrived, allowing me to take the one that wouldn’t give me lung cancer by proxy.
*I can’t stand the people that bum rush the elevator right when the doors open before allowing the people inside to exit.
*I also can’t stand the people that insist on cramming in even though the elevator is obviously already full. There are 5 other ones, people.
*Some people smell really gross.
*Some people smell really good.
*Line butters or Johnny-come-latelies. Especially in the morning and after lunch there can be a lot of people waiting for an elevator. Sometimes when the elevator takes a while to arrive, people will show up right before the elevator arrives and then try to be the first to get in before all the other people who have been waiting for a minute or two. These are kind of like the bum-rush people; they think it’s all about them (when it’s obviously all about me).
*Luckily I haven’t experienced the elevator fart yet.
*Some people act like they’re doing you a huge favor if you have to ask them to push the button for your floor. Jerks.
*Damn this is a long post.

I wanted to throw in one other thing that happened yesterday that was not elevator-related, but definitely freaked me out. Cutting your fingernails at work is borderline behavior, although I will admit that I used to cut my fingernails sometimes in my own cubicle at my last job, so I can let it slide if you’re at your own desk that I don’t have to touch or look at. But bringing your nail clippers to my workspace and then cutting your nails as you stand there and talk to me? As the nail clippings land on the floor of my cubicle? Not cool, and very gross.

Self Portrait Tuesday 3 - Self Portrait As A...

Palette knife painting

More SPTs here.

Potty Training? Hai!

In case there are any moms out there struggling with toilet training their child, I'm here to help. You can thank me later.

Diversions

Ugh, I've been pretty much knee-deep in working on my paper that's due tomorrow. I think the peer who reviewed my paper must be an English teacher - he found all kinds of grammatical problems and he even found an incorrect statement that the prof didn't even find when he graded the first draft! It's good though because it's helping me write a better paper. I have had a few diversions this weekend to get me through.

Friday I saw the movie A Scanner Darkly, and I thought it was pretty good. The visual style was mesmerizing to me, and Robert Downey Jr. was excellent.

Yesterday during a study break I found an interesting article in the online version of New York magazine about happiness. It's a pretty long article but worth a read. You can copy the 'Print This' version and read it at your leisure if you don't have the time to read it in one sitting. I thought the article was quite thought-provoking.

I'm really digging the Thom Yorke CD.

Now it's back to work!

I Doubt There'll Be A Puppet Show

OK, now I can talk about what was causing me to be so edgy the last few days.

I'm going to see Tom Waits in concert!!! The reason I didn't want to talk about it before wasn't because I was afraid of jinxing it (I don't believe in such things), but I wasn't sure if I could get tickets. I didn't want to be too disappointed if I didn't, so I was trying to curb my enthusiasm. I'm super excited because Tom Waits is probably my holy grail of concerts right now. He hardly ever tours, and I wasn't sure if I would ever get a chance to see him. Of course if you do believe in jinxes I've probably just doomed myself to getting run over by a bus next week. I'll cross that bridge if I get there.

Anne, I wish you could go!

Who Am I, Where Am I?

This work schedule is totally kicking my ass. I don’t know how you moms deal with the sleep deprivation that comes with having kids. There’s a reason that it’s a torture method! Sleep deprivation also makes you feel stupid. I think my IQ has dropped about 50 points this week - it's like I react to everything in slow motion.

My belief about sleep is that every person has a specific target number of sleep hours that they need to get every night or else they can’t function. And if you require 8 hours, then you can’t train yourself to get by on 5 – it’s just inherent to your makeup. I think I read this somewhere a long time ago, but I can’t remember where. In any event, it seems to hold true for me. And I need 8 hours a night or else I’m toast. This means going to bed at 9:15, which is very difficult for me. Right now even if I do turn out the lights at 9:15 my body doesn’t yet seem ready to actually fall asleep at that time. Maybe when I get exhausted enough it will.

The Smackdown

Sometimes we all need a dose of humility. I was feeling pretty good about my school project, based on the grade that I got on the first part of it, and also due to the fact that the paper I had to review from one of the other students for draft 2 a couple of weeks ago was incomplete and not very good. In fact, I thought my paper was pretty bad ass. I got a bit of a smackdown this week when I received a paper to review from another student for the third draft of the project. This guy’s paper was really good, and he is also, like me, doing his project on movies instead of books, which made mine look even worse in comparison. I guess I felt like I could coast a bit until the final version of draft 3 is due next Monday, but now it looks like I have some work to do this weekend. I guess the peer-review process works.

On another note, I am super edgy right now (more than usual), but the situation will be resolved by noon on Friday. More later…

I Want Candy

I just found out that the Strangers With Candy movie opens here this weekend! I've been waiting to see this for so long. I loved the TV show, it was so damn twisted. It's getting decidedly mixed reviews on metacritic, but wild dingoes couldn't keep me from seeing this. Unless they ate my face. I could probably still go to the movies without a face, but I wouldn't want to.

Self Portrait Tuesday 2 - Self Portrait As A...

Student

Now that I'm in school again, I'm spending lots of time reading textbooks and articles. This chair is my favorite reading place when I'm at home.

The chair is an antique that belonged to my grandparents.

More SPTs here.

SPT Near Miss

A while back I posted a link that shows how you can view the space station. Since the shuttle is currently docked with the space station it should be even brighter this week. Here is the link to check it out, I'm hoping there will be some more days beyond Monday posted at some point.

I got a lot of nice comments about my self portrait last Tuesday (thanks everybody!), so I thought it might be interesting to show you the picture that I almost posted. Basically it's just a non-manipulated version. I had a really hard time deciding which one to post. The thing I like about this one is the look of the wood grain.

I'm Guessing Her Cat Isn't Named Pickles

I can't take credit for finding this video on my own (I found it on gordonkeith.com), but I thought it was too damn funny not to share with you all. And I want to see the person who is scared of mustard!

All Hail...The Mantis!

Today was better than yesterday. Which is good, because if it wasn't I'd probably be dead. Yeah, I know I'm being overly dramatic.

I saw this praying mantis when I went out to water my garden this evening. Gotta love the mantis.

Turdsday

First a disclaimer: For any new readers that may be out there, it needs to be known that I'm not always warm and fuzzy (anyone who truly knows me would double over with laughter at that Understatement of the Year!). This is one of those times, so if you're offended by cursing and general bitterness, you may want to come back another time!

This was one of those days. I’m writing this at work (although I won’t post it until I get home), and all I can hope for at this point is that I make it home OK (I did). At least I have something to post about!

It all started this morning with a doctor’s appointment, which I made 8 months ago. I cancelled my COBRA coverage as of June 30, and I haven’t received my card for my new health coverage yet, so I knew there might be problems. So I took in the form that I faxed to HR on June 22 requesting coverage as well as the 800 number to contact the new provider. I figured that worst case they could call the new provider and confirm my coverage. Well, the new provider doesn’t have me in their system yet. The nurse called me back in her office to talk to the insurance rep on the phone. The nurse then left the room, and the insurance rep told me that I just needed to ask them to make a copy of my request form and have them attach it to the claim. OK, great. Good-bye. Click. I told this to the nurse who then said that they couldn’t do that and that she wished I had had the rep tell the nurse this on the phone too (oh, you would have done it if you heard it from her, what am I a fucking liar?). By this point I was pissed so I just had them make me another appointment for next month. I’ve only been going to this doctor for 8 years, so now I just decide I’m going to pull a fast one on them? Suck it. So I used 2 hours of sick leave for nothing. I loaded my metaphorical elephant gun for HR so when I got to work I would be ready to call someone and bitch them out about where in the hell my card is blah, blah, blah. (Silver lining in this: we get 4 hours of sick leave every 2 weeks, and you can bet your ass I’m going to use it.)

So I’m on my way to work when something happens that makes me forget about the healthcare bullshit. I’m about 7 miles from work, driving on major freeway, pretty much hauling ass admittedly, when the car in front of me swerves suddenly to the right. I didn’t have time to dodge what he swerved around, and I ended up running right over something big and metal in the road. I still don’t know what it was. My front tire was shredded immediately. Luckily I was able to make it over to the shoulder on the right side of the freeway without getting rear-ended. I pulled over as far as I could, but it was on an overpass so there was pretty much just room for my car and not much else. I have one of those tiny temporary spare tires so my plan was to put that on, drive to work, and try to get a new tire at lunch. I’m really glad that I carry that I carry an air compressor in my car because the air pressure in the spare was pretty low. Those things lose air pressure just sitting there, so unless you add air regularly your spare will probably be low.

Next for me was the part that I think freaked me out the most. I knew I had to change this tire with my body about 2 feet from the right lane of the freeway. And it was so loud. But I got it done and took side streets the rest of the way to work. While I was changing my tire, two other cars had the same thing happen to them. And I’d like to give a big “Fuck You” to the Richardson, Texas police officer who drove right by while my ass was dangling about 2 feet from traffic. I didn’t need him to help me change the tire, but couldn’t he have blocked off that right lane for the 10 measly fuckin’ minutes it took me to change the GD tire? Protect and serve my ass.

So I had a plan to get a new tire at lunch. I leave the building and go out to my car only to find that now my rear tire is flat too. I knew it lasted about 7 miles on the way to work, so I felt like I could put air in it and still go the 2 miles to the tire place, and that worked. So I ended up getting a new tire, and luckily the rear one was repairable with a plug. Now I just need a front end alignment because I have to turn the wheel way to the right to go straight. I don’t want to mess up my tires (and I had just bought a new set a little over a month ago).

The migraine that developed was a nice little cherry on top.

The worst part of this whole thing now though is that my adrenaline is going crazy. I am totally wired. It’s just really hit me how serious this thing could have been, and it’s freaking me out. At least on the drive home I probably won’t be able to go much faster than 30 miles an hour due to all the traffic (turned out to be pretty accurate). I know when this adrenaline wears off I’m going to crash big time. And HR, that elephant gun is still loaded.

Lion-Colored Hide

This morning it was a bit rainy and humid here. It’s been so dry for so long that the humidity hit me like a ton of bricks when I got out of my car at work. It felt almost jungle-like. The drought around here reminds me of a line from the novel Hannibal that stuck in my mind: “The Battle Creek Cemetery outside Hubbard, Texas, is a small scar on the lion-colored hide of central Texas in December”. Well, the lion-colored hide is here already.

School is off to a great start. I’m pretty much finished with the 1 hour class. There’s one group project submission that’s due tomorrow, and I have sent in my contribution. I think the TA has graded our article critiques and discussion questions pretty easily since I have gotten the maximum score possible on all of them. The other class is going well at this point, I got a 95 on the first big portion of the project. It’s nice to feel like I’m good at something, I haven’t felt that way in possibly years! I feel like I’m in my element when writing papers, I’ve always been good at it and have enjoyed it.

I am surprised though at how reluctant I am to look at the prof’s comments on my paper, which I need to do so I can make revisions on it before the next submission. I don’t know when I got so thin-skinned about receiving criticism. I guess I’ve always bristled at criticism, even when it’s warranted or well-intentioned. But I got a 95 for crying out loud so it should be relatively minor criticism and it still scares me! It’s time to toughen up. Maybe I should let you all critique my blog posts (all 3 of you! Or is it 2?). On second thought, um, no.

Self Portrait Tuesday - Self Portrait As A...

Musician

More SPTs here!

Here Comes The Sun

I'm loving my digital camera. The flexibility of seeing the shot immediately just can't be beat. I've been going a bit nuts with the sunrise shots. Not being a morning person, I'm still dazzled by seeing the sunrise almost every weekday. Here are a few shots!