Bookworm Meme

The lovely and talented m. heart has tagged me with a meme! Here are the rules:

1. grab the nearest book.
2. open the book to page 56.
3. find the fifth sentence.
4. post the text of the next two to five sentences.
5. don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the intellectual one. pick the closest.
6. tag five people to do the same.

This is interesting because the nearest book to my computer is actually one that I haven't started reading yet. Right before Thanksgiving I checked out 4 books from my local library to keep me well-stocked with reading material. I've finished and returned 2 of the books, and I'm almost done with the third. That last one is the nearest one.

At this point I need to give a warning that if you don't like to mix politics with your blog reading, please skip this post.

The book is called Big Lies: The Right Wing Propaganda Machine and How It Distorts the Truth by Joe Conason. This is what the sentences starting with the 5th one on page 56 contain:

Within weeks after Congress returned from the holiday recess, Republican leaders resumed their mugging of Daschle, feigning terrible offense at mild remarks he had made about the progress of the war against Al-Qaeda and the imperative of capturing Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban mullahs. Representative Tom Davis of Virginia, chairman of the GOP's congressional campaign committee, ranted that Daschle's "divisive comments have the effect of giving aid and comfort to our enemies by allowing them to exploit divisions in our country." Tom DeLay called Daschle's comments "disgusting".

Tom Daschle was a well-known U.S. Senator (and top-ranking Senate Democrat) from South Dakota , and the comments above come from 2001. In the 2004 midterm elections Daschle was defeated by a Republican challenger. You may have heard his name recently because Daschle was just nominated for the post of Secretary of Health and Human Services by President-elect Barack Obama.

Since I haven't read the book yet I haven't fully processed any opinions about it, but I think I can safely say that it provides a look at how divisive politics have become in this country, which is something that a lot of us are repulsed by. Somehow over the last 15 years it seems that political discourse has become so nasty and cutthroat. What ever happened to disagreeing in a civil manner? Unfortunately I don't see this changing any time soon, if ever.

This passage from the book refers to a practice that I find repugnant – that of questioning the patriotism of anyone who opposes the views of the Bush administration. The whole “you’re either with us or you’re against us” mentality. There was a lot of that going on in the U.S. after the attacks of September 11th.

For one thing, the world cannot be reduced to black and white or good versus evil. That’s a simplistic view that has gotten us into a huge mess over the last 8 years. Secondly, we have a concept in this country called freedom of speech. Calling someone unpatriotic or un-American because you disagree with what they are saying pretty much goes against one of the core founding principles of the United States. Of course you can disagree with someone, but I think we need to remember that we’re on the same side in the big picture. We should focus on our common goals and stop focusing so much on issues that mostly serve to divide us. I think it will be interesting to read this book in light of the fact that the leadership in this country will be changing soon. And it's also interesting to ponder where Tom DeLay is today.

And that’s all I have to say about that!

I'm going to refrain from tagging anyone since there aren't even 5 people who read this blog! But if anyone reading wants to play along, consider yourself tagged!

No Beck For You (By You I Mean Me)

The new Beck album, Modern Guilt, came out today. I love Beck’s music, and I really want to get the album, but I have decided not to for now. I was really cheesed when they came out with a deluxe 3 disc version of his last album less than 6 months after the release of the basic version. The deluxe version was 3 discs, two of which were the original version of the album. The other disc was not available separately. And I like a lot of the Beck remixes. So they wanted us to buy the album, then come back and buy the deluxe version, with a duplicate disc, less than 6 months later. F that.

It’s one thing if they decide to do this kind of thing 12 years later, like with Odelay. But 6 months? Look, I may be dumb, and I may be an ass, but I’m not a dumbass. Release them both at the same time, and I’ll gladly pony up for the spiffy version (they did this with Guero, both versions were available on release day). Or allow us to buy the extra material separately. Or at the very least say “hey, we’re coming out with a deluxe version in a few months if you’d rather wait for that”. But don’t try to trick me into buying the same thing twice. That’s taking advantage of your fans, and that sucks.

I think this can mostly be explained as a sleazy tactic of the record companies to grab a few more bucks before they go the way of the dinosaur. And I’m really not happy that that is going to happen, because despite the convenience there are a lot of disadvantages to digital-only music (unless it’s done right, like this [multiple high-quality formats, artwork, yada, yada, whatever]). But if you treat people like crap, don’t expect everyone to just sit there and take it. I'm going to sit back for now and wait to see if a deluxe version is forthcoming. I know some of you may be thinking "Jebus, dude, it's only ten bucks you freakin' tightwad, just buy it already!" It's the principle of the thing. I feel jerked around after last time, and I don't want to be jerked around again.

Ah, Springtime!

* Spring! That glorious time of the year when animals get horny, flowers bloom, and apparently I get allergies. My allergies have been going nuts the last two days. I actually got the good allergy luck in my family. My sister is always sniffling and stopped up, my dad has very bad allergies, and my aunt had to get allergy shots when she was younger. I am OK most of the time. When I do get allergies, you know it's bad. It's got to be the fact that all the trees and shrubs have started blooming around here.

* Overheard today in Target: "Red wine goes with anything." Um, no it doesn't. Yeah, go ahead and drink that Cabernet Sauvignon with a nice big piece of turkey breast. Gag much? OK, I guess considering the fact that the person who uttered this sentence was, I would venture to say, about 7 years old, I suppose I can cut them some slack. This time. Obviously the kid doesn't watch the Food Network. Is this what Spongebob hath wrought?

* Went to get an oil change today. It really pissed me off when they pulled the old "your oil looks dirty, we recommend an engine flush" line of B.S. I know that it's bullshit, but it pretty much establishes that the place is fundamentally dishonest. Who knows what else they will lie about? People that lie to me don't deserve my business. Pretty much the only thing you should ever have done at an oil change place is an oil change. I used to have a great place to go to when I had my previous job. The people there were straight-up with me and never tried to sell me anything I didn't need. They were also really friendly and I was almost always out of there within 10 minutes of pulling up to the bay. I can't go there anymore since it's about 30 miles in the wrong direction. I didn't think it would be so difficult to find another decent place, but it has been. I already blacklisted one place for trying to sell me unnecessary crap. I guess it's time to start looking again.

Dookie

Huh. Well, I was going to post some snow pictures, but since no one gives a shit I don't give a shit either. So entertain yourself.

A Sick System

I usually shy away from political-type posts because I know not all of you share my political views. But I’ve really been thinking about this issue a lot lately and I think it’s important. Don’t worry, there are plenty of inane posts coming up!

Peeps, when it comes to health care, Americans are getting seriously screwed. I’ve known this for a long time, but I just watched the movie “Sicko”, which does an excellent job of putting a lot of this stuff in perspective. I know that some of you would rather eat broken glass than watch a Michael Moore movie, and I think some of his methods actually end up hurting some of the causes that he believes in, but I think this film gives us a lot to think about. I also don’t buy everything that is presented in this movie, but there is a lot of truth in it.

For-profit health care is just a flat out failure. The “for-profit” part tells you all you need to know. Companies’ only goal is to make the most money possible, not help people get the health care that they need. It’s practically criminal.

I don’t even think that this issue should be partisan in any way. It isn’t about Democrat vs. Republican or conservative vs. liberal. It’s a bunch of extremely wealthy people vs. all the rest of us. It’s shareholders and CEOs of these health care companies vs. basically anyone who needs health care. And anyone who needs health care? Um, that’s only every single person in this country at some point in their lives. We’re really getting screwed over.

In this country we’re all hanging by a thread. At any time, any of us could be involved in an accident that could put us in the hospital. Any of us could get a cancer diagnosis, or some other major disease. And I don’t care how good you think your insurance is, at some point you’re going to end up spending a lot of money. And if you’re lucky, that’s the least that will happen. That assumes that you get the proper treatment, enough time to heal properly, and get timely care. Unfortunately it’s easy to be callous about the misfortune of others. But if you live in the U.S. you are potentially a second away from being someone who needs some serious help.

And please, spare the “socialized medicine” excuse. We have lots of things that are “socialized” in this country that work pretty well. The U.S. Postal Service, city fire and police departments, libraries. Um, public schools anyone? Sure, these things don’t always work perfectly but they do a pretty good job. Would you really want to live somewhere where the fire department was a private company? Fortunately there aren’t any that I know of right now, but I’m sure that once someone figures out how to make money doing it, it will be (God forbid) just a matter of time. Again, it’s simple – the only reason that any company exists is to make money. That’s really, when you boil it down, all that any company cares about.

Let’s look at schools for a minute. I pay lots and lots of taxes for public schools. I don’t even have any kids! I’m paying for your kids to go to school. Why should I do that? Because it’s in our common interest. It’s in everyone’s interest to have an educated populace, I think that’s a pretty universal idea. Why should it be any different with health care? Some of my taxes go to pay for police service. You know how many times I’ve called the police over the years because I needed help? None. Zero. Nada. But do I mind paying for police service? No. They’ve helped lots of people in my community and someday I may need their help. Same goes for fire service. Do you know how many times my house has burned down? Not once. But do I want the fire department to try to put it out if it does? You bet your ass. I would be willing to pay taxes so that I could have the fire department come put out a fire at my house because someday I might need them to. Don’t you think you would be a little more freaked out about what you were going to do if there was a fire at your house if you had to get preapproval for them to put it out? And if you had to pay them depending on what they did? And if you had to worry about how much money you have saved up for that? Why should health care be any different?

It might be one thing if universal health care was this pie-in-the-sky thing that no one had ever done before. But there are many examples already in place of how a system like this can work. In fact, the United States is the only developed country that doesn’t have something like that in place. Go ask a Canadian, or a Briton, if they would trade health care systems with an American. You’d have to wait about an hour for the laughter to die down, but once it did I guarantee they would say no. I would love to hear what any Canadians out there have to say on this. If I’m wrong, tell me! In fact, what better way to find out firsthand from someone who’s experienced universal health care firsthand than on a blog. Most of the blogs I read have readers from all over the world. Ask those readers what they think about their health care system. I think if more Americans knew what it was like in other countries when it comes to health care, we wouldn’t put it up with what we have for a millisecond. Ask around, find out for yourself.

People say, well universal health care would mean that we would have to pay higher taxes, and I don’t want to pay higher taxes! First of all, I don’t think that necessarily has to be the case. And secondly, I say “So what?” I had a dental procedure performed last week. It cost me almost $1200. You know what I spent on dental issues in 2007? About $2500. If you think that a tax for universal dental coverage would cost more than that, you’re on crack. And if you’re thinking “Well, why don’t you take better care of your teeth if you don’t want to pay so much?”, well, I suspect I just have bad teeth because I brush twice a day every day and floss once a day every day. And what about insurance premiums? Even if you have health coverage you pay a monthly premium. How is that different from a tax? Not to mention that on top of that you pay for the office visit and your medicine. When you factor in that I purchase $60 of prescription medications a month and a couple of doctor visits per year and add those to my dental costs, I have paid way more this past year for medical care than any tax would cost. And I’m healthy!

One thing that a lot of people throw around to argue against a Canadian-type health care system is that supposedly people have to wait a lot longer to see a doctor than in the U.S. I don’t think that’s true, but consider this – I think we all know that insurance companies can refuse to provide someone with coverage due to a “pre-existing condition”. So what’s the waiting period for that? How about forever! It’s a little bit impossible to have a waiting period longer than that. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve had doctors that I’ve had to wait several weeks to see for routine checkups. Consider this too – I’ve had the same “doctor” for 11 years. You know how many times I’ve actually been given a checkup by this doctor? Once. Every other time it’s been a nurse practitioner. And I don’t think this is a rarity among other practices. That doesn’t seem right to me.

Insurance companies should not be in charge of health care. The goal of an insurance company is to make a profit. The less medical treatments they have to pay for, the more money they make. Do you see how that is a major conflict of interest? You think these insurance companies wouldn’t let you die if it meant a major financial hit to them?

I think it’s a misnomer to call this a political problem. What it really is is a moral problem. We can and should help those who find themselves through no fault of their own in dire circumstances. And by doing so, we can help ourselves too because in a moment’s time we could be in dire circumstances too. I personally know someone who has had to file bankruptcy due to medical costs, and it’s actually quite common in this country. And it’s not right. The U.S. ranks

I’m not optimistic about a better system coming about in this country in my lifetime. I think our political system is too corrupted by corporate and institutional influences, and they won’t give up that influence without a fight to the death. But we have to try, and we have to get regular people talking and thinking about this issue, because it’s the only chance we have at making a change. There is a bill in the US House of Representatives that is currently stuck in a subcommittee. So far the bill only has 87 cosponsors. If you want to contact your Congressperson and ask them to support this bill, start here.

Rant Time

Alright, I have to go on a bit of a rant here. I’ve tried to stifle it, but I can’t. I just need to get this out of my system. And it’s all the more appropriate on Veterans Day.

Last Tuesday was Election Day. Do you know what percentage of registered voters in my county actually voted last Tuesday? 7.64%. That’s 7 as in less than 10. That is absolutely fucking pathetic. You hear people all the time talk about how “freedom isn’t free” and “you should thank a veteran for fighting for your rights”, etc. You know what those phrases are? Words. A bunch of meaningless words. If people really believed that, they would vote. Do you know how many people around the world would kill just to have that opportunity? I know of at least three people who read this blog who either live in or have lived in places where people couldn’t vote, and it wasn’t all that long ago either. Within the last twenty years in fact. And people here just don’t care. Couldn’t care less. Go eat a Twinkie and watch TV. I heard America’s Funniest Home Videos is on. And I never want to hear you complain about what’s wrong with our country again.

People in this country walk around with their chests puffed out about what a great democracy the United States is. How great can it be if so many people just throw away one of our most basic rights? Is it any wonder that politicians don’t have the slightest bit of concern for the average person? Not even half of the people in this country care enough to cast a vote. Look at this list. The US is number 139 out of 172 in election turnout since 1945. Utterly pathetic.

48% is bad, but I can possibly some concede some arguments about why that isn't a complete disaster. But 7.64%? What. a. joke. And I know you’re probably thinking “Who died and made you the election police?” Well, this is my opinion and it’s as valid as anyone else’s.

Drive? Me Crazy

I love rain. I think that's because it's a fairly infrequent occurrence around here. If I lived in Portland I might get tired of it after a while, but since it doesn't happen every day it can be a welcome change of pace. I don't even mind driving in rain. EXCEPT...when it rains during my commute to or from work. Like this morning. Even when there is isn't a wreck - you can pretty much instantly double the time it takes to make the commute. I don't get it. I mean, I know that you are supposed to drive more slowly in the rain since it takes longer to stop yada, yada, yada. OK, but why does everyone all of a sudden become these model drivers when it rains, but on every other day they drive like brainless morons? It doesn't make sense. Watching the weather report last night did me no good either. They said it would all be north of here. So imagine my surprise and dread when I heard it raining shortly after I got up this morning. When I get my "real" job I've gotta live closer to work. Sheesh.

In other news, I don't know if any of you are Radiohead fans, but if you are did you hear about their new album? You can get it via download next Wednesday from this site (you can preorder now). The interesting part? You can pay whatever you want for it! I don't know if they are performing an experiment on human nature or what. I guess if you feel that artists deserve to make a living from their product you can pony up. What if it's all a trick and it's just Thom Yorke reading the phonebook? I guess that's the chance you take...

Sing It Bob

Today was Bob Dylan's birthday. Normally that would get a fairly minimal reaction from me, as I like some of his work but I wouldn't classify myself as a huge fan. But today I also happened to read the words to one of his songs, and they really resonated with me on a day when an incredibly cowardly and sad decision was made.

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead

--Masters of War

Do you know how fucked up it is that this is just as meaningful 44 years after it was originally written? And more than that, that it will be just as relevant in another 44 years?

Fight The Power

Today has been a real knockout, dragout with Baby Powder Man. His evil stench was particularly strong today, so I cranked open the melon air freshener quite a bit this morning. BPM may have gotten the best of me today though, because now I feel a headache coming on. It's been a real baby powder beatdown. You may have won the battle BPM, but I'm going to win this war!

Speaking of headaches, I've been getting more than my fair share lately. In fact I just had to take some of my migraine medicine last night when I got home from work. I'm hoping that it's attributable to the fact that I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. That's one of my resolutions that I've been struggling with. I'm just like the rest of you - there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I had children! I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's planning my day better or dropping some of the things I like to do. I'm not sure, but I've just got to get more sleep.

And now for something completely different. On the way to work this morning I saw two of the worst bumper stickers I've ever seen. They were both real WTF experiences. The first one said "Say No To Cheap Cargo" and the other one said "Jetskiing Is Not A Crime". You know, I really don't give a shit about the opinions of total strangers so I would prefer to see no bumper stickers at all, but if you must apply one at least make it over an issue that is worth the trouble. Cheap cargo? Jetskiing? Who cares?! I wasted valuable reading time on those stickers! You know what? Douchebaggery Is A Crime, and you sirs, are under arrest.

Whew, good thing I'm at home now.

Here's some pictures of some strange-looking clouds I took last week:

These people may have been jamming cake into their pieholes today:

• Warren Beatty
• Tracy Chapman
• Eric Clapton (well, well)
• Robbie Coltrane
• Celine Dion
• MC Hammer
• Norah Jones
• Paul Reiser
• Paul Wall
• Ian Ziering
  
  
  
  
  

One Good Stink Deserves Another

I’ve had it with Baby Powder Man (basically boils down to: baby powder on a baby? Fine. Baby powder on a 45 year old man? Gag inducing). Both on Friday and yesterday I was driven to the point of near gagging, even holding my nose and breathing through my mouth sometimes. That’s it, it’s time to fight stink with stink. Yesterday at lunch I went out and bought one of those Renuzit air fresheners, you know the ones with the plastic cover over that weird, Jello like goop? I sampled every scent available (it has to be something I can smell all day and not get grossed out by). It pretty much came down to “tropical melon” or “clean laundry”. I’m now rocking the office tropical melon style, and it’s totally drowning out baby powder narstiness. I bet everyone is wondering why it smells like cantaloupe up in here, but they’ll just have to deal.

On an unrelated note, why didn’t I get to see David Lynch selling coffee at Central Market on Sunday? Aw, man. And BTW, David Lynch coffee? What the?

If you see any of these people, wish them a happy birthday:

• Mariah Carey
• Fergie (the new Fergie, not the old Fergie)
• Elizabeth Mitchell
• Quentin Tarantino
• Xuxa! (I love the Xuxa)
• Michael York (hey, we were just talking about Austin Powers)

F'ing Specks!

I have to indulge my inner (or outer) tech geek with this post. I'm not sure all of you will find this interesting since I know only a couple of you have SLR cameras, but if I can educate at least one person who may be thinking of buying one then this will be worth it.

A little while back I briefly mentioned the problem I have been having with specks on my photos. I've been doing some research, and I've come to find out that this problem is very real. It is also a real pain in the ass!

Digital cameras use a sensor to create the image that becomes a digital picture. When dust or crud gets on this sensor, you get specks. This problem is aggravated by the fact that the sensor is electrically charged when the camera is powered on, and this tends to draw particles to the sensor and make them stick. The specks show up much more in images when you use a small aperture. Here are some examples:

This picture was taken at an aperture of f32, which is the smallest I could get with this lens. Looks terrible! (click for larger view of any of these photos)

I reduced the aperture to f18. Better but you can still see specks.

This was from the other day with an aperture of f20. There's even a hair in there!

Obviously the problem shows up more on plain backgrounds. And a lot of the specks can be cleaned up with software, but I thought my days of cleaning up dust and scratches ended when I started using a digital camera. Guess not. And if the blobs end up on a background that is not uniform, they can be very hard to fix even with editing.

Now, this problem mainly occurs with SLR cameras. Since lenses on SLR cameras are changed out quite frequently, this gives an opportunity for the camera body to be open to the outside air when a lens is removed. If you don't have removable lenses, I guess this problem could still happen, but it probably wouldn't be nearly as bad. Since one of the most important reason to use an SLR is to use different lenses, this problem really sucks!

Currently there is only one camera that I know of that has a self-cleaning sensor - the Canon Digital Rebel XTi. Which happens to be the model that came right after the one that I bought. If I had known about this problem before I bought my camera, I may have waited for the newer model. I guess you could say that I should have done more research before this purchase, but I feel almost like I am getting a defective piece of equipment.

You may wonder why this problem wouldn't occur with film cameras. Actually, it does, but it isn't as noticeable because the dust settles on the film frame that is currently ready to be exposed. When you take a picture and the film advances to the next frame, the slate is wiped clean so to speak. A digital sensor is always in the same position, so the dust can just keep on building up over time.

Luckily, there is a way to clean the sensor. I have been using canned air to very gently blow the dust off the sensor. Canon specifically recommends that you not use canned air because they say the air flow is too much and if liquid comes out when you spray it can ruin the sensor. But I have found that if you barely press down the trigger, you can make the air come out much slower. And as long as you don't spray the air while holding the can upside down, no liquid should come out. But it still makes me kind of nervous. There is a brush available that is supposed to do a pretty good job, but it ain't cheap. I have one on order and should receive it soon.

So the lessons are: if you have a digital SLR, don't use a small aperture unless you really need to! And make sure you're OK with this problem or are willing to buy an expensive brush to fix it if you are thinking of buying an SLR (or buy the XTi).

Today's birthdays are brought to you by VisibleDust, makers of the aforementioned brush!

• Ron Howard
• Catherine 'Daisy Duke' Bach
• Javier Bardem
• Harry Belafonte
• Dirk Benedict
• Roger Daltrey
• Alan Thicke
• Chuck Zito

Which One Is The "Any" Key?

People are stupid. Just when I begin to have doubts about this fact, something happens to erase those doubts. Monday at work someone in the IT department sent out a global email about a laptop update process that was due on the 31st of December. Now granted, global emails can sometimes be a bad idea, but the response in this case was much worse. The first reply rolled in a few minutes later: “Oh, I couldn’t update my laptop because I was on vacation, blah, blah, blah.” Then the next one: “I shouldn’t have received this message, I don’t even have a laptop.” Then: “I think you have the wrong person”. On and on it went. “I think you have the wrong Preston Muchinsonton” “There’s no need to hit 'reply all' PLEASE STOP”, and my personal favorite, quoted exactly as written: “FIX THIS EMIAN PLEASSE WRONG PEOPLE KEE P RECEIVING.” I had to set up a rule to send all of these emails to my junk mail folder. By the time the dust settled the total was around 250 of these emails. Sweet Jebus. Are people really still this f’in clueless about using email? Yes, yes they are. No wonder we haven’t cured cancer. Or cancelled “According to Jim”.

In an unrelated note I think we all need to observe a moment of silence for someone who passed away recently. And I think this is someone who had a more direct impact on most of our lives than Gerald Ford or James Brown. No, not the Scooby Doo guy (although how weird that I just mentioned Muttley on Friday). I speak of Momofuku Ando. None other than the creator of instant Ramen noodles. Come on, I know every single one of you has eaten instant Ramen noodles. Anyone been to the Ramen noodle museum?

Elevator Talk

Update: This post is a repeat of July 19, if you read that one this isn't new!

One of the bad things about my new job is that I am now subjected to the beating of having to use an elevator everyday. What is it about elevators that make them so tense? I think it’s because you are forced to be closer to people than the normal boundaries of personal space would dictate. Now, I imagine if you live in New York City or some other crowded metropolis you may think elevators are no big deal because you are constantly surrounded by tons of people, but that’s not how it is around here. People drive to work in their own car by themselves, and neighborhoods are really spread out, so you just aren’t used to having people jammed in so close. Public transport is almost non-existent. I think this is why I would go freakin’ nuts if I lived in New York City.

The elevator experience is just so weird. You either have complete silence because everyone is so tense, or you have the one guy who tries to make small talk but no one really wants to participate so they laugh nervously. If you’re on the elevator with someone you know it seems like a relief since you can hold a somewhat normal conversation. Here are some of my elevator thoughts:

• Something that never helps is that you are forced to ride the elevator first thing when you get to work and last thing when you leave, which for me are probably the two worst possible times for me to be jammed in with strangers. In the morning I don’t want anyone talking to me before 9, much less a foot away from me. And by the end of the day I am beat down from having to interact with people, so I just want to get the hell out of there.
• God forbid you catch an elevator with the person who just finished their smoke break and smells like a dirty ashtray. That smell can literally give me a headache sometimes. Yesterday after lunch I lucked out because just as this woman walked up who declared to her companion that she had another pack of cigarettes upstairs (trust me, from her voice I’d wager she had a carton upstairs) two elevators arrived, allowing me to take the one that wouldn’t give me lung cancer by proxy.
• I can’t stand the people that bum rush the elevator right when the doors open before allowing the people inside to exit.
• I also can’t stand the people that insist on cramming in even though the elevator is obviously already full. There are 5 other ones, people.
• Some people smell really gross.
• Some people smell really good.
• Line butters or Johnny-come-latelies. Especially in the morning and after lunch there can be a lot of people waiting for an elevator. Sometimes when the elevator takes a while to arrive, people will show up right before the elevator arrives and then try to be the first to get in before all the other people who have been waiting for a minute or two. These are kind of like the bum-rush people; they think it’s all about them (when it’s obviously all about me).
• Luckily I haven’t experienced the elevator fart yet.
• Some people act like they’re doing you a huge favor if you have to ask them to push the button for your floor. Jerks.
• Damn this is a long post.

I wanted to throw in one other thing that happened yesterday that was not elevator-related, but definitely freaked me out. Cutting your fingernails at work is borderline behavior, although I will admit that I used to cut my fingernails sometimes in my own cubicle at my last job, so I can let it slide if you’re at your own desk that I don’t have to touch or look at. But bringing your nail clippers to my workspace and then cutting your nails as you stand there and talk to me? As the nail clippings land on the floor of my cubicle? Not cool, and very gross.

Up Your Butts

Und now, ve rant:

I've been sitting on this one for a while folks, but I today I got pushed over the edge. If you're easily offended - get the fuck out of here now!

Son of a bitch do I hate cigarette butts. Today as I finished my 'run', I found 3 more cigarette butts in my front yard. I usually find about 5 or 6 of them every week. How fucking lazy do you goddam smokers have to be? Do you think these fucking things sprout into flowers after you throw them on the ground? Do you think these fucking things melt when it rains? Well, I got news for you assholes - they don't. On top of that I watched some mouth breather throw a butt out of her car on the freeway today. Haven't any of you assholes heard of ashtrays? The parking lot at work is fucking disgusting with butts too. You know what? If you want to slowly kill yourself, do us all a favor - buy a gun already and get it over with. At least then we wouldn't have to deal with your fucking trash. The fucked up thing is that neither of my immediate neighbors smoke, nor do the people across the street. However, the people 2 doors down in both directions do, and I'm thinking this is where most of the ones in my yard come from. Fucking pigs. I'm going to start collecting these things, bake them into a giant fucking casserole, and force feed it to these fuckers while they get anally raped by horses. Or something like that.