Monday, September 05, 2005

Up Your Butts

Und now, ve rant:

I've been sitting on this one for a while folks, but I today I got pushed over the edge. If you're easily offended - get the fuck out of here now!

Son of a bitch do I hate cigarette butts. Today as I finished my 'run', I found 3 more cigarette butts in my front yard. I usually find about 5 or 6 of them every week. How fucking lazy do you goddam smokers have to be? Do you think these fucking things sprout into flowers after you throw them on the ground? Do you think these fucking things melt when it rains? Well, I got news for you assholes - they don't. On top of that I watched some mouth breather throw a butt out of her car on the freeway today. Haven't any of you assholes heard of ashtrays? The parking lot at work is fucking disgusting with butts too. You know what? If you want to slowly kill yourself, do us all a favor - buy a gun already and get it over with. At least then we wouldn't have to deal with your fucking trash. The fucked up thing is that neither of my immediate neighbors smoke, nor do the people across the street. However, the people 2 doors down in both directions do, and I'm thinking this is where most of the ones in my yard come from. Fucking pigs. I'm going to start collecting these things, bake them into a giant fucking casserole, and force feed it to these fuckers while they get anally raped by horses. Or something like that.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Anne said...

i know. littering, as a rule pisses me off but it's almost like smokers don't see flicking their stubs as littering. I was a smoker (up until 9 yrs ago) and there was something immensely satisfying about flicking. Of course, it wasn't in a residential neighborhood but in the deep austin cityscape, but hell, littering is littering and it is fucked up. I like the casserole idea. the horse raping, not so much, but the casserole is golden.

9/05/2005 10:02 PM  
Blogger JC said...

Anne,

Congratulations on quitting. I have 3 friends that I have watched try to quit smoking over the last 10 years, and none of them have despite multiple attempts. I have another friend whose Dad died last year from lung cancer due to smoking at age 66. It's such a waste.

9/05/2005 10:14 PM  

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