Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Week in Review

This past week was my first since my receiving my latest kick in the ass from my boss. It definitely had its ups and downs. I worked pretty hard this week. If they still don't want me around after a week like this, then fuck 'em. I feel that I am giving my best and as the cliche goes that's really all you can do. There is definitely some tension between my boss and I, which worries me some. My emotions bubble very close to the surface, and I can't help getting just a little pissed off every time I look at her. I don't think most women welcome receiving a sense of anger from a man, and I'm afraid that I may be projecting that. I was planning to sit down and ask for a status report, to ask if there was anything that I should be doing that I was not, but when I finally decided to do so around 3PM my boss had already left. I have noticed my temper has seemed pretty short this week. There is lots of hemming and hawing when I have asked people to do certain things, and that kind of pisses me off since that seems to be what has gotten me in hot water myself.

Today has been somewhat of a return to form for me. I used to have lots of Saturdays where I hardly left the house at all, and so far that is what has happened today. I had to venture outside to mow the lawn, but that's about it. I do have plans to eat dinner with some friends later, including a couple who I haven't seen in two years since they moved to Indiana. I'm looking forward to seeing them, but I'm also feeling a sense of inertia. I feel like I just want to 'dig in like a tick' as a friend of mine used to say and stay right here. I even have a valid excuse since gas is costing so much and Dallas is 30 miles away. Feeling like this always makes me think of that scene in 'Boogie Nights' where Julianne Moore and Heather Graham sit in that room all day doing coke. I guess because one of them says 'Let's go for a walk' and the other one says 'I don't want to leave this room' and then the first person says 'Me neither'. I probably watch too many movies...

It will be interesting to see how I respond to being around people tonight after being alone all day. Not that I'm going to wig out or anything, but the energy level required is just so different.


Blogger holli said...

i totally got the boogie nights reference - and i loved it!!! i feel that way every morning!!!

9/04/2005 9:53 AM  
Blogger JC said...

BN is one of my all-time favorite movies. I need to watch it, I haven't seen it in so long.

9/04/2005 7:43 PM  

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