TV Quick Hits

Here are a few observations/opinions about crap I've seen on TV lately:

* Remember that dream where a friend of mine hatched out of a giant egg? Well, I think it may have been my brain having a premonition of the Gatorade commercial where the guy hatches out of a giant basketball and gets rained on. Freakshow!
* I hate, hate, hate that commercial for the search engine where the people look like chimps. I won't even name the company that the commercial is advertising for because they don't deserve the publicity. This commercial is freaky-bad.
* I know I should hate the VW commercials with Peter Stormare, but you know what? I don't. I'm not sure why, I think the commercials are kind of stupid in general, but I laugh when he says 'it's time to un-pimp your auto' and 'V-dub, representing Deutschland'. I think it's just because his accent cracks me up, it always has. And for the record he's Swedish, not German.
* Basic Instinct 2? Really? C'mon! Is this going to be as big a piece of crap as I think it is?
* All right, so I've been watching Lost this season and I haven't really been blown away. I think I'm not alone in feeling like this, but I wasn't sure exactly what the problem was. But I think I know what part of the problem is now. Tonight on My Name is Earl, the guest star was the kid who plays Walt on Lost. Where the hell is Walt? Bring him back already, that kid was great! And for that matter, his father on Lost has been MIA for awhile now too. I really liked those 2 actors, the shows suffers for not having them on. And now I'm worried that Walt is not coming back because I noticed on IMDB that he's listed as a cast member for 2004-2005. Oops.
* You know those 'The More You Know' PSA spots that they air on NBC? For example, there's one with Donald Trump yelling at people to stop smoking. Well, the cast of The Office has done something brilliant and come up with some fake PSAs. You can view them here. I recommend at least viewing the one with Dwight talking about bears. They showed about three of them during the show tonight with no warning or indication that they were fake, which made them even funnier. One complaint: where the hell is Steve Carrell?!

The Incredible Shrinking JC

I'm losing weight. The first time I really noticed it was right after a weekend where I had an upset stomach and I hadn't eaten much, so I thought it was temporary. Now a month and a half later I don't think it was temporary. One of the first things my mom asked me when she saw me last week was whether I had lost some weight. My pants seem really baggy lately and I've gone down a belt notch.

At first I was a little freaked out because I couldn't really think of any good reason why I would have lost weight. I'm not exercising any more than I had been before. I haven't substantially changed what I eat. I don't think I have any health problems that would cause weight loss - I feel OK. After thinking about it a lot, I think it's just due to not eating as much as I did when I was working. I used to have a bowl of cereal every morning - I don't do that anymore. Also, I would be so ravenous when I would get home from work that I think I would tend to overeat. Right now I can eat whenever I want, so I guess I don't go as long without at least getting a snack if I need one. Grazing, as it were.

The funny thing is, I'm probably right where I need to be at this point. Whenever I used to calculate my BMI, I was pretty close to the upper limit of the 'normal' range. I've been wanting to lose about 10 pounds for the last 7 or 8 years, so I guess I'm there now. Although since I don't have a scale in my house (I used to always use the one at the gym), I am not sure exactly how much I've lost. Hey, maybe I could start up a new weight loss program. The 'Get Fired, Lose Weight' Program! Look for my book on Amazon soon!

Thumbsucker Doesn't Suck

I watched a movie that I ended up really enjoying this past weekend. It's called Thumbsucker. It's based on a novel that I had never heard of prior to seeing the film. I thought the movie was interesting because one of the themes is that lots of people think that they are 'broken', or that there's something wrong with them, but that there may not be a 'fix' for their 'problem'. And that that's OK because that's what makes us human. Another interesting theme in the film is that many parents think that they should somehow magically have all the answers and be totally together themselves, but that's not how it works out in the real world. And that's OK too. The movie has a very hopeful outlook that I just really responded to in my present frame of mind.

I won't quote it here in case you want to see the movie yourself, but I loved the final quote from the Keanu Reeves character. In a way it's a little like hitting you over the head with the message of the film, but for one thing I often personally need that in a 'message' movie, and for another the 2 words he tacks on to the end of the quote soften the effect wonderfully.

The actor playing the main character is really good, and I think this was one of his first films. And if you watch the interview extra on the disc, he bears a strong resemblance to the author of the book. The movie also stars the usually excellent Tilda Swinton and Vincent D'Onofrio and even has a nice performance from Vince Vaughn. Well worth checking out, and if you want to see what the 'professionals' say, here is a link to the metacritic reviews.

Two Nights - Two Nightmares

I have had a nightmare each night for the past two nights. On Friday night, I had a dream that my former employer hired me back (pretty much a nightmare in itself, but that wasn't the bad part). The item that we produced was silicon wafers, which are used to make integrated circuits for computers. Well, in the dream I had mouth full of ground up silicon pieces. Silicon is very hard and brittle, so basically imagine having a mouth full of broken pieces of glass and you get the idea. Not pleasant. The pieces were very hard to get out, and after I woke up I remember wondering why I didn't try to rinse my mouth out with water. I think this dream may be related to anxiety about grinding my teeth.

Last night I had another unpleasant dream. I had tickets to an REO Speedwagon concert. I will leave it up to you to decide which dream is scarier!

On a side note, today I was reminded of what may be the worst license plate in America. I've seen these before because I have family in this state, but I had forgotten just how heinous this thing is. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Kentucky license plate:



I imagine this license plate would be the hottest thing going if toddlers were allowed to drive cars. For everyone else, not so much.

Good Visit

I got mom to the airport with no problems yesterday. And in case anyone is wondering, there was no 'CB' discussion. I just let it lie. The house was so quiet and lonely last night. You would think I would pretty much be used to that by now, but I guess I adapt quickly. Today I can kind of feel myself getting back into the usual routine.

I did manage to get mom hooked on American Idol and America's Next Top Model. Damn those reality shows are insidious! She just has to know who wins now that she's seen the shows. In any case, even though her visit was short, it was a good one.

Damn Browser!

Today something happened that completely mortified me. However, I do have to admit that it's also pretty damn funny.

When you have statcounter tracking your blog, you will no doubt notice that from time to time you get some pretty weird searches that end up leading to your blog. For example, one of my recent favorites was 'had you a clown for breakfast'. To which I have to say, WTF?! I don't think I want to meet the person who was looking to have him a clown for breakfast. My blog comes up #1 on a search for this phrase on google. You can get some pretty weird shit popping up when the search engine combs a full month's worth of posts at one time.

Holli and I like to occasionally out-weird each other with the search phrases that lead to our blogs. Today Holli sent me one that tapped her blog, which happened to be (I am substituting zeros for O's in the hopes of thwarting any further attempts to find this phrase): 'Cannibalized b00bs'! I will leave it to Holli to explain how her blog is #2 for this search (actually it's completely innocent)! Well, when I saw this I had to click on the link because I had to see how these two words ended up on Holli's blog. And no, they don't appear consecutively!

I have recently started using Avant browser, and for the most part I like it. However, there is one annoying feature that I have discovered. When you do a search, even on a website that you type in yourself and even if the phrase was from a link, the phrase you searched will show up in this search box on the upper right hand side of the browser, and it will stay there until you delete it or search for something else.

So this morning after I clicked on the 'Cannibalized b00bs' link, this wonderful phrase popped into that search box and stayed there. After I was done checking my email, I asked my mother if she wanted to check her email before I turned off the computer. She said yes, so I pulled up the AOL web site and let her sit down to check her email. I came over to look and make sure that the page was loading OK, and then to my horror I saw that the phrase 'Cannibalized b00bs' was just sitting there in that search box for all the world to see. I panicked. The freaking AOL site was taking forever to load, so basically there was a blank white browser screen with a toolbar at the top that had the phrase 'Cannibalized b00bs' in it. Did she see it? I don't know. I almost can't see how she couldn't have. I wasn't sure whether to mention it so I could explain the innocent origin, or to just stay silent. I chose the latter. Mom didn't say anything. I'm not sure if I made matters worse when she stepped out for a second and I deleted the phrase before she came back. Would that draw more attention?

So, basically, there may be a good chance that my mother thinks that I was searching on the internet for 'Cannibalized b00bs'. Holli thinks that I should bring it up so I can explain it, but I'm kind of scared to. 'Cannibalized b00bs' aren't something I regularly talk to my mother about. I bet Mom will be plenty happy to get on that plane tomorrow to get away from her batshit son! GAH!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today was my mom's birthday. I knew if I asked her what she wanted she would say that she didn't really want anything. And she did. And I think she really meant it because she isn't very materialistic. I knew that I wanted to take her out to dinner and bake her a cake. I felt a little bad this morning when a flower arrangement from my sister arrived. But I did bake her a cake (sorry Anne, it was Duncan Hines! I would love to make a cake completely from scratch at some point but I don't know how yet!), but I thought it turned out pretty well. My mom went to lunch with a friend, and we actually ended up eating dinner over at their house because my mom wanted to see her friend's husband after he got home from work.

The main reason that my mom is in town is because one of her good friend's birthday is tomorrow. Her friend has apparently been a bit down in the dumps, and some of their mutual friends thought it would be fun to throw a surprise birthday party for her. She has no idea that my mother is in town. Hopefully they will all have a good time. I kind of feel like a parent whose child has come home from college and spends all their time visiting their friends!

I insisted on driving my mom around today because on the way from the airport we were talking about how she doesn't think she could handle driving in Dallas anymore after 7 years of living in a smaller town. She said it made her feel old though that I wouldn't let her drive. I tried to help out a little by telling her that it's also because I currently do not have collision insurance on my car (which is actually true), and I think that helped some. Ironically I almost got rear-ended on the way to pick her up from her friend's house tonight, and it was pretty much my fault (although the other guy was going a bit too fast I thought). Glad I didn't get in a wreck, I never would have lived that one down!

A Visit From Mom and a Weird Dream

My mom is coming for a visit this week. She won't be here too long - she's getting here today and leaving on Thursday, but it will be good to see her. I still have to vacuum, but other than that the house is in pretty good shape. My parents lived in this area for 22 years, so they have a lot of friends here, so I think my mom will be spending some time with some of her friends too. I think mom is going to try and motivate me in my job search, but that's OK because I probably need it.

I did want to write about a weird dream I had recently. In the dream I was outside and there was this giant egg. The egg started moving around, something was about to hatch! Well, it turned out to be my friend James from college. James And The Giant Egg! It was very disturbing. I have no idea what on earth that means. I don't think he's gotten a new job recently or been 'reborn' in any other way. Although he and his wife did have a baby last year.

In the same dream I also dreamed that I was standing in line at a buffet. There was a big container of bread pudding on the buffet. There was a German lady in line behind me, and she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if bread pudding was good for 'acid stomach'. I have no idea if bread pudding is good for 'acid stomach', so I told her it was 'mild'. I think she took that to mean yes.

Oddly enough, last night I had a dream that I was writing about my dreams for my blog. Does it get any more meta than that?!

The JC Art Tour, Day 4: Molas!

OK, this is the last day, I promise!

For today I have saved some of my favorite pieces. These are called molas. They are made by the Kuna Yala Indians of Panama. I first saw these when our family went to Panama one Christmas to visit my sister, who was in the Peace Corps down there. These are made by layering different colors of fabric and having cutouts so that the different colors show through.

Oddly enough, I was inspired in the framing of these by a Woody Allen movie. I had them unframed for the longest time, but when I saw the film "Melinda and Melinda" I noticed what looked like a mola on the wall in the background of one scene. It was in a simple black frame and looked great. So, after a trip to Target (where else!) I found some great black wood frames for these. The white part is just the insert that came with the frame turned backwards. In typical JC style, I didn't have them hanging up, but I'm happy to report that this blog project has inspired me to hang them! Here is a link that tells a little about molas, and here is a link with a bunch of mola pictures.

These are monkeys. The faces look a little freaky.

For some reason this one looks a lot more green in the picture than in real life.

The JC Art Tour, Day 3: Other

As you will see from these pictures, I'm really into 'folk art'.

I got this cross in Costa Rica.

This stuff is in the Africasian room. And again, it's all from Target except the monkey, and it was all on clearance (except the monkey)! The monkey came from Cost Plus.

More Target clearance. Cough.

OK, finally some non-Target stuff! My sister brought me the mask on the left from Madagascar, and the zebra from Kenya. I bought the other one last year in Arizona at this big outdoor African market that they have every year in February. Unfortunately I can't remember what country it came from, I'm thinking it's either Ghana or Benin. I love masks, but I've never really found a good way to hang them on the wall so they're just lying around. I guess two of them have holes that I can run some string or yarn through and maybe hang them from that.

I bought this in Costa Rica as well. I really loved how they have so much tile artwork all over the place down there. I had these grand visions of framing this, which you can see have to this point been unrealized! Hey, it's only been 6 years. I do need to get this framed so I can hang it up!

This is a wood carving made in Oaxaca, Mexico. They have a very distinctive style there of wood carving, usually in the shape of animals, that are very brightly painted. I also like that the artist usually paints his name and village on the bottom of the carving. This link tells about the history of the carvings, and you can see some pictures of other carvings here. And er, no, mine didn't cost anywhere near as much as these!

This is a grasshopper made out of a railroad spike, a couple of nuts, and some nails. I just thought it was really creative.

This is a pirate head carved out of a coconut that I got in Florida. It's just wrong on so many levels. I think buying this was my inner 5 year old trying to express himself.

The JC Art Tour, Day 2: Prints and Photos

Welcome to the second day of my 'art tour'. Today you will be seeing some of my prints and photos.

I have kind of a palm tree motif in my guest bathroom (you can see a bit of the shower curtain to the right). My parents gave me this print the Christmas after I moved into my house specifically for this room. I love it because it was a surprise gift from them and because it is a lot more colorful than what I probably would have picked out on my own.

This is a very simple photo that my Dad took in the Smoky mountains while we were on vacation once. He got several of these mounted and framed and gave them as Christmas gifts to my sister, me, and my grandmother. It isn't something that I would necessarily say is a great photo, but there is something I really love about it. Maybe it's the feelings that it evokes of a memorable trip and the love behind the giving of it.

I bought this photo at a local art show a few years back. I just really love the creativeness of it and that it's of a local landmark in downtown Dallas. I really thought a shiny white frame would look great, and I ended up painting it myself.

These next two prints are on opposite sides of the window in my front bedroom. I first saw them at Target a little over a year ago and they were on clearance. Well, I got a little too fancy-pants with trying to let the price drop even lower, and I ended up missing out on them. I did a little sleuthing and found a place online that sold the same prints. The size of the prints from the online store ended up being a little larger, so that was good. I bought some simple black wood frames from Target to complete the look. The only downside is that the prints were a little skinnier than the standard frames, hence the white on the sides. But I still think they look pretty good.

This isn't really a print, but it isn't a painting either. I'm not sure exactly what you would call this, so I'm putting in this category. That's kind of a thatched fabric in the center of the matte. This is another Target clearance special from when they did that World Bazaar thing. I thought it was weird enough to be intriguing, and for $10 I couldn't resist. I kind of have a mixture of Asian and African stuff in this room, so I thought it would be a good fit (it's from Kenya).

The JC Art Tour, Day 1: Paintings

A couple of weeks ago, Kiki did a post about the art in her home. I thought it was great idea, so I decided to do a post about the art in my home as well. As I was taking pictures, I realized I have a lot of art (although there may be some debate as whether some of this stuff is art!). So, instead of boring you to death all at once, I have decided to bore you to death for 4 days straight! Let the show begin!

I found this small painting at a local art show. I liked it because it reminded me of my friend's dog.

It's not hard to tell that this is from the same artist! I don't know, it just makes me smile. I saw the artist at a show last October, and he's totally changed his style. I guess you can only do so many of these simplistic pieces, but I really dislike what he's doing now.

My parents live in Arizona, and one time when I was visiting them I saw a piece by the artist that created this, and I was really drawn to his work. I ended up buying this one to hang over my fireplace. It's almost a kind of papier-mache thing that he does, it's a wood frame with a covering of newspaper and glue. The features are actually slightly 3 dimensional, and then he paints on top of that.

This is also by the same artist as the previous work. For some reason I've always loved owls.




My grandmother gave me this watercolor a couple of years ago. She didn't really know the story behind it, so I don't either. But I like it. That white crap is the camera flash!

These next few are not paintings that I own, but they are some pictures of an exhibition by Ron Nelson, who did my prickly pair and owl paintings. I wanted you all to see some of his other work. I wanted that tortoise painting really badly!

Mishmash

I am laughing hysterically at the craziest stuff these days. Not sure why that is. Since I don't have anything to be happier than normal about, I must be going insane. The latest - I saw a commercial for that new show that's kind of like American Idol but with people who invent things. It showed a guy with a picture of his invention and a mountain lion and he said something like "You can see that the invention will keep a mountain lion at bay." And the judge says "Your invention is a stick?". Holy shit I laughed at that.

I've added a new link on my sidebar to "Television Without Pity". If you've got some time to kill - and I do mean a lot of time - this site does recaps of several television shows. I say lots of time because these recaps are long. But, they are also hilarious. I've busted many a gut lately over some of their American Idol recaps. It almost makes me not feel like such a dork for watching AI. Almost. Anyway, it's also good if you miss an episode of a show you watch and it won't be rerun. If you need a good laugh I highly recommend this site!

I'm bummed that the final season of The Sopranos starts this Sunday, and I don't have HBO anymore. Hopefully they won't wait too long to release the DVDs!

I saw Krazy Kroger today. I must get her story.

And now, some pictures:

One Stop Shopping. I actually took this picture during my road trip at Christmas. Yes, I just got the film developed today!

I love that in Taiwan they make coffee called 'Hello Boss' coffee. They also make one called 'Mr. Brown'.

I loved the way the light was hitting my rubber plant, so I took a picture of it!

The leaves on the tree in my front yard have really popped out this week. I guess spring is just around the corner!

What Do You Meme?

I've been tagged by Kiki to post this list!

3 Things You Wish For (just for you)
1. A job
2. Good health
3. Peace of mind

3 Things You Would Do To/For Yourself If There Was No One To Judge You (or if you had the guts to do it!)
1. I would probably keep my hair a little bit on the shaggy side
2. Get a nose job
3. Butt implants. Just kidding on that one! Despite number 1, I’ve always wanted to shave my head to see what it looks like, but I’m too chicken!

3 Bad Habits You Have
1. I’m not very punctual
2. I tend to interrupt people when they’re talking. I do it because if I don’t I will forget what I’m going to say, but that’s a crappy reason.
3. I worry too much

3 Insecurities You Feel
1. My looks
2. That people don’t like me
3. That people think I don’t know what I’m talking about

3 Talents/Skills You Wish You Had
1. Ability to paint
2. Ability to be more assertive
3. Ability to make a living doing something artistic

3 Things That You Would Do If You Had More Time
1. Learn to paint!
2. Travel more
3. Read more

3 Things That Bring You Peace/Relaxation
1. Going for a walk
2. Being in the woods
3. Not having a schedule

3 Things That Spark Your Creativity
1. Visiting an art museum
2. Seeing a really good movie
3. Nature

I'm adding a bonus section that I promised to do a long time ago (November, I think). I guess that speaks volumes about my self-esteem that it took me 4 months to think of 7 things that I can do!

7 Things I Can Do
1. Change a car battery
2. Tune a guitar
3. Find my way around
4. Run 5 miles without stopping
5. Pass the Jeopardy test (3 times and counting…)
6. Do well on the GRE
7. Hang a ceiling fan (man, I’m reaching here!)

I tag no one!

It's Hard Out Here For An Oscar Pimp

I pretty much watched the Academy Awards from start to finish. For someone who likes movies, this is pretty much the Super Bowl. I have to say that it got me all movie-fired-up, what with all the clips from old movies and whatnot. Here are my impressions of last night:

* Loved the opening bit with all of the recent hosts. The David Letterman thing was hilarious!
* Jon Stewart - not bad, but I didn't feel he was as good as Chris Rock, Steve Martin, or Billy Crystal. There were a couple of jokes that did elicit a guffaw from me, though. And Jon, when you're miked you have to fake clap!
* Everything I've ever read or heard about Dolly Parton makes her sound like a wonderful person. She started with nothing and has made a huge success out of her life. My hat is off to her. But that doesn't mean I have to like that song she sang. Dreadful. GAH!!
* That suit that Ben Stiller was wearing was a bit too tight in the groinal area. Eww.
* I loved that Wallace and Gromit won.
* I loved that Robert Altman got an honorary Oscar, I think he's he's great. Sure, he's made some clunkers (Pret a Porter, Dr. T And The Women or Popeye anyone?), but he's also made some masterpieces like McCabe and Mrs. Miller, Nashville, The Player, and Gosford Park. And I'm sure this puts me in the minority, but I wasn't a big fan of Short Cuts. I give him a lot of credit for taking chances, though, even if they don't always result in great movies. I love his attitude, he doesn't put up with bullshit and he has always done things his way. He also does fascinating DVD commentaries if you ever get a chance to hear one. I love that he's 80 years old and still making movies, and I thought his speech was really gracious. His win also reminded me of some of the great people that never won 'real' Oscars, just the Honorary variety - like Alfred Hitchcock, Akira Kurosawa, Cary Grant, and Jimmy Stewart. I guess hindsight is 20/20.
* I loved the fake commercials pimping for the various nominees! I've always been a big fan of the fake commercial.
* Will Farrell and Steve Carrell presenting the makeup award with horribly applied makeup? Genius!!
* I love that Phillip Seymour Hoffman won Best Actor. I've loved him since Boogie Nights, and it was so cool how he brought his mom to the ceremony and thanked her. Joaquin Phoenix was great in Walk the Line, but I get the feeling that we'll see him nominated again.
* Reese Witherspoon just seems like a class act.
* It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp. What can I say, I still can't believe a song with this title won the best song Oscar. But I thought it probably was the best song nominated. I love the reaction of the winners, and I love that one of them is named 'Crunchy Black'! Let's see how many Crunchy Black search hits I get now. And I also loved when Jon Stewart said, "I think it just became considerably easier out here for a pimp."
* The 'In Memoriam' segment - I forgot that Anne Bancroft died, and I hope Mr. Miyagi is waxing on and off up in heaven. I feel bad for the people that nobody claps for!
* I was totally gobsmacked that 'Crash' won Best Picture. I didn't see that coming at all. I was curious as to whether I was just totally out of touch on this one, so I went to Roger Ebert's page and saw that he actually predicted a 'Crash' win and wanted it to win. So, maybe I am but I stand by my opinion. This movie has seemed to polarize quite a few people, and Ebert had an interesting article on his page explaining why he felt the way he did. I know that all movies manipulate their audiences in some way, I just didn't respond to the way that I felt 'Crash' was trying to manipulate me. I think the fact that there are people saying it's the best movie of the year and the worst movie of the year (I wouldn't go that far) makes it worth seeing to decide for yourself.
* Just for fun, here's a link to the anti-Academy Awards, the Razzies.

Wow, I already can't wait for next year!

Oscar the Grouch

I'm pretty psyched that the Oscars are this weekend, I watch them every year. I'm not so sure how Jon Stewart will be as host, though. I like him on the Daily Show, but right now I just can't picture him as Oscar host. I thought Chris Rock was really funny last year. In fact, I can still remember 2 of his jokes and I suck at remembering jokes! My favorite was "I saw The Passion of the Christ.......not that funny." Another good one was "And now introducing the only woman to successfully breast feed an apple, Gwenyth Paltrow!" It was just funny to me how irreverent he was with all those people who take themselves so damn seriously. I love Sean Penn as an actor, he may be the best there is right now, but he got so uppity over that joke about Jude Law. Lighten up dude!

I know that Whoopi Goldberg is a beating to a lot of people, but I even enjoyed when she hosted. And I think Billy Crystal is normally somewhat of a beating too, but he was great as an Oscar host. Steve Martin was also very good. I know everyone always holds up David Letterman as the worst Oscar host ever, but I really can't remember too much about that year except the "Oprah, Uma" thing, and I thought that was funny. I guess we'll just have to see if Jon can pull it off.

As far as the awards, I haven't seen as many of the movies that were nominated this time. I've seen 3 of the 5 nominated for Best Picture. I'm guessing that 'Brokeback Mountain' (gorilla) will win Best Picture, although that's one of the ones I haven't seen. I have decided to wait for the DVD to come out since it is supposed to be out on 4/4. My old fogey self doesn't get out to the movie theater as much these days! I was pretty surprised that 'Crash' was nominated for Best Picture - I really didn't care for that movie. If 'Capote' won I wouldn't complain. I did just get 'Walk the Line' from Netflix, so I'm hoping to view that in the next 2 days to see if the acting noms were deserved. Well, at least if the show is completely wheels-off, it will make good blogging material!

The Closing Ceremony of Olympic Blog Posts

First a small digression: It's 90 degrees outside! That's insane.

Well, the Olympics are over. I think I got a pretty good dose to hold me over until 2008 (next summer games). Here are the last of my Olympic impressions:

* Figure skating - I think we need a 'Turandot' limit. It's OK if someone skates to it, but do we need 3 people skating to it? No. No we don't.
* Man, that Turkish figure skater looked just like Sofia Coppola. I was having Godfather III flashbacks.
* Yes, a woman skated to a Madonna song.
* What is the deal with the panty hose over the skate look? It freaked me out. I'm sure there's some practical reason like it keeps your laces from flying around, but it just looked weird.
* Did you see that giant blue rabbit that someone threw on the ice after one of Italian figure skaters finished? It was bigger than she was!
* At that skating gala thing (I didn't watch all of it!), one of the pairs women was wearing flesh colored undies. Classy!
* I like saying "Oval Lingotto".
* I like how they said "Ready?" before each speed skating race.
* They've added a disclaimer to that commercial where the woman jumps out of the window into her clothes to avoid deodorant stains. The disclaimer says "Do Not Attempt". No shit, you don't say!
* That commercial with the guy eating the giant hamburger kind of freaked me out.
* I really got into watching the reactions of the athletes when they would win gold medals. There was something that seemed so pure about it, it put a huge grin on my face almost every time. That would be an incredible thing to experience.
* That was super freaky when all the clowns came out at the closing ceremony, and I'm not even scared of clowns! It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where crazy Joe Davola dresses up like a clown and goes to 'I, Pagliacci'. Wow, 2 opera references in one post!
* Those awful red noses they gave out to the athletes gave me 'Patch Adams' flashbacks. And I'm really, really sad that that last sentence is even possible! Did you notice how all the American athletes were too cool for school, hardly any of them were wearing their clown noses.
* Can we retire 'YMCA' from all public performances already? I know this was Italy, but C'MON!
* Andrea Bocelli - would it have killed you to shave? It's the freakin' Olympics - C'MON!! Miami Vice was 20 years ago dude.
* I thought it was kind of cool how the Vancouver mayor was waving the flag using his wheelchair.
* I thought we were going to have another wardrobe malfunction when those hoochies came out to dance while Ricky Martin was singing. You might want to class it up a little more next time, ladies, this is the Olympics fer cryin' out loud!
* The shot from behind Ricky Martin where you could see all the freaky-ass clowns just riveted to his performance made me laugh out loud. Too surreal!
* Do we really need commentary on the closing ceremony? In some cases it really made a bad situation worse. I think next time they should get the crew from Mystery Science Theater to commentate. I would pay to see that!