Go Mow A Lawn!
Today I ended up doing something that I have been putting off as long as possible - I mowed my lawn. If it were just good old-fashioned American grass out there, I'm thinking I would have had a couple more weeks of downtime, but the weeds were getting a little shaggy. I'm still not quite used to the idea that I don't have to do yard work on the weekend, so I really wanted to do it yesterday when everyone else was. However, seeing as how it was 92 degrees yesterday and 77 today I think I made a good choice. I do have to say that I'm not used to the Daylight Savings stuff yet, I will be eventually but right now it's making me a feel a bit discombobulated. Today was really 'weird'.
I tend to wear quite a strange outfit when I do my yard work, even in the heat of summer. I got tired of getting grass all over my socks so I always wear jeans instead of shorts. This is also good when using the weedeater because I've had some pretty hard stuff hit my legs when using that thing. I have hay fever, and nothing gets my nose more messed up than freshly mowed grass, so the pollen mask is a must. Now here where it gets a little weird. I wear swim goggles to protect my eyes. I've tried just wearing sunglasses, and it never fails - if there is any way for a grass particle to get into my eye, it will. And my eyes don't like that. That also helps with the weedeater. The outfit is completed by my Smith & Wesson 'earmuffs' to protect my ears. I think I occasionally listened to my music too loud when I was younger, so my hearing seems pretty sensitive. The mower is kind of loud, so I figure why do any more damage to my ears if I don't have to? I also wear these when vacuuming. So, basically I look like I'm going scuba diving when I do my yard work. I keep waiting for the lady across the street to have to get her foot amputated since I have seen her pushing a lawnmower and operating a weedeater wearing shorts and no shoes!
I also had a near Larry David moment this morning (or maybe it was only in my mind). I decided would wear my "Shaft: Kickin' Honky Ass" t-shirt today. For the record, this is the shirt that I am wearing in the picture with Aimee Mann. Now, it never fails that when I wear this shirt I will walk past an African-American if I venture past my driveway. I'm never sure, do they think this shirt is funny, or are they offended by it because I'm white? I guess I think it's funny to me because I'm white. You know - it's ironic. I decided to wear it this morning because I was thinking, "Well, I just need to make a quick trip to the grocery store, it won't be a problem." After the grocery, I decided to make a quick stop in H.O.E. just to price their weedeaters. Mine stopped working suddenly last year, and I knew I would need to get a new one soon. After seeing a surprisingly affordable one, I grabbed it and decided to hurry up and get in line. Of course, the cashier was black. I was in the garden center, and there was a choice of two lines, but the other line had someone with a bunch of stuff in it, and it would have looked really weird if I got in that line, so I sucked it up and checked out. I felt pretty sheepish, although I didn't totally avoid eye contact. He looked right at my shirt at one point, but he didn't really have a reaction. I guess if I'm going to be this uncomfortable wearing this shirt, I should only wear it around the house!
I tend to wear quite a strange outfit when I do my yard work, even in the heat of summer. I got tired of getting grass all over my socks so I always wear jeans instead of shorts. This is also good when using the weedeater because I've had some pretty hard stuff hit my legs when using that thing. I have hay fever, and nothing gets my nose more messed up than freshly mowed grass, so the pollen mask is a must. Now here where it gets a little weird. I wear swim goggles to protect my eyes. I've tried just wearing sunglasses, and it never fails - if there is any way for a grass particle to get into my eye, it will. And my eyes don't like that. That also helps with the weedeater. The outfit is completed by my Smith & Wesson 'earmuffs' to protect my ears. I think I occasionally listened to my music too loud when I was younger, so my hearing seems pretty sensitive. The mower is kind of loud, so I figure why do any more damage to my ears if I don't have to? I also wear these when vacuuming. So, basically I look like I'm going scuba diving when I do my yard work. I keep waiting for the lady across the street to have to get her foot amputated since I have seen her pushing a lawnmower and operating a weedeater wearing shorts and no shoes!
I also had a near Larry David moment this morning (or maybe it was only in my mind). I decided would wear my "Shaft: Kickin' Honky Ass" t-shirt today. For the record, this is the shirt that I am wearing in the picture with Aimee Mann. Now, it never fails that when I wear this shirt I will walk past an African-American if I venture past my driveway. I'm never sure, do they think this shirt is funny, or are they offended by it because I'm white? I guess I think it's funny to me because I'm white. You know - it's ironic. I decided to wear it this morning because I was thinking, "Well, I just need to make a quick trip to the grocery store, it won't be a problem." After the grocery, I decided to make a quick stop in H.O.E. just to price their weedeaters. Mine stopped working suddenly last year, and I knew I would need to get a new one soon. After seeing a surprisingly affordable one, I grabbed it and decided to hurry up and get in line. Of course, the cashier was black. I was in the garden center, and there was a choice of two lines, but the other line had someone with a bunch of stuff in it, and it would have looked really weird if I got in that line, so I sucked it up and checked out. I felt pretty sheepish, although I didn't totally avoid eye contact. He looked right at my shirt at one point, but he didn't really have a reaction. I guess if I'm going to be this uncomfortable wearing this shirt, I should only wear it around the house!
posted by JC at 12:01 AM
6 Comments:
Sorta like when I wear my "Vote Republican because your country is a terrible thing to waste" t-shirt and run into the ONE rabid democrat in North Texas every time. (and just for the record, that particular shirt has stayed in the drawer the entire time I have lived in Ohio. Ican't take any chances!)
Sort of like my "Simon says go F*** Yourself" shirt? Well, that one may push the limits.
Anyway, if you care even a little bit about cheering me up - you will take a picture of yourself in that lawnmowing outfit - you can blackout your face.. and put it on your blog.
Do it for your country!!
You are too funny! I need a photo of the mowing man outfit, even if you're not wearing your Shaft shirt.
OMG!!! I have just pictured you in all of your "garb" for mowing the lawn. And just when I thought I might pee myself, you had the nerve to wear "the other shirt" out in public! You didn't learn a lesson the first time!!!!! Crap like that always happens, doesn't it? You think you're in the clear and lo and behold.....the last person you need to slink by and there's your neighbor or a co-worker.
Holli said it all. Take a picture of yourself in all of that garb & post it baby!!!
I am your puppet - pull my strings! I will post pictures!
I am dying laughing at the thought of you wearing goggles to mow the grass. Other than the googles, the outfit really doesn't sound like it looks odd. I think you should wear the googles to the store next time you wear the T-shirt. BTW, I have a tshirt that has a soldier pointing an AK47 at a kid who is pleding allegiance to the flag and the captions reads "Say it! Say you love Jesus!". I think this is hilarious but man do I get some pissed off looks from people when I wear it.
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