I'm A Loser Baby...
I’m depressed. That’s why I haven’t posted in so long. I don’t know, it just seems kind of weird to post about stupid stuff like whether I’m using facial moisturizer or about the guy last week who floated an air biscuit as he stepped off the elevator when I feel so crappy. When I feel this way my natural tendency is to withdraw. I guess it’s a protection mechanism: “If the world doesn’t want me, then fuck ‘em, they can’t have me anyway!” No, it’s not rational, but feelings never are. And I’m probably the only working person you know who hates weekends. “Two whole days by myself – just what I need!”
I’m so tired of being alone and I don’t see this situation changing anytime soon. This isn’t a new situation for me, but it never gets any easier, and actually I think it’s getting worse as I get older. I’m just like anyone else, I want to get married and have a family someday, but it just seems so far away. I’ve tried to be proactive about this situation before and it never works out. How many times can you slam your head against a brick wall, or put your hand on a hot stove?
I know that relying on someone else for my happiness is a problem in its own right and is bound to fail. The only person who can make me happy is me, and that’s what I’m going to work on. I am hoping that my career change is a step in that direction.
I just wanted you all to know why I haven’t been around. When I feel better I will post more.
posted by JC at 5:33 PM
7 Comments:
Missed you. Sorry you're feeling a bit down. This is going to change for you. You seem to have a lot of insight into yourself. Just be patient now. Hugs to you.
yeah, i think i wouldn't blog about air biscuits. i mean, my hubby is SO flatulant that i could blog about it all the livelong day. ick. feel better soon. maybe you can post more memphis pix?
Oh Man How I so know your pain. Winter is coming and when my daughter is away for the weekend I need to be proactive or it just hurts.
I'm lucky to have my daughter but I had hoped for more kids and a decent dude, but now I'm running out of time.
Finally something has kicked me and I can't wait/rely on someone else for my happiness.
Do what makes you happy!
So sorry to hear that you're suffering from a case of the blues. I've been there too many times - including lately. Since my boyfriend lives four hours away and I only see him every two or three weeks, it gets tough. I am so tired of coming home to an empty house every night. At least I do have two dogs that love me, and that makes things a little easier. Maybe you should get a pet!
You'll be a great catch for someone. That person will eventually show up - maybe sooner than you think! Keep your chin up!
I'm sorry that you're feeling sad these days - I think it's going around. I, too, have not been feeling my usual self ever since I went on vacation to Colorado two weeks ago. I just read someone else's post who said they were also feeling this way.
My problem is mainly that I don't have a group of close friends to hang out with. I wrote a whole post about it and then I deleted it because I felt like a whiny baby. Blah.
I know you're not asking for advice on how to pull yourself out of the doldrums, but when I feel shitty, doing something special for yourself might help. Like, think "What reasonable thing would make me happy right now?" (No flying to Maui or winning the lottery.) For me, I'd be very happy right now if I could take a nap and treat myself to a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. :)
Have you tried Match.com? I did that for a while and although there were no love matches, I got some pretty amusing stories out of it...
I hear you. Sometimes the weekend stretches out before me endlessly and it is not a good feeling.
I hope things pick up for you and that soon you have "two turn tables and a microphone" on the tip of your tongue instead of this song.
I've felt this way too when I was going to school 5 years ago, then again when I was 'stuck' in a very bad marriage. When I've been in that frame of mind is when I ended up with creeps...maybe because I settled because I was so lonely. What I CAN say without question,is that being alone is much much better than being in a bad relationship. This is a good time to rediscover 'you'....I also agree maybe the matchmaking sites are worth a try.
Post a Comment
<< Home