Wacky News Wednesday

Did you all see this story:

Police use stun guns on greased, naked student

So the story says that this student "had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught", had "long hair and a full beard", and when asked to stop by a school administrator he "made a sexual gesture and kept running". But my favorite part is the final sentence: "There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem". You know, aside from the fact that he greased himself up, ran around the cafeteria, and had to be shot with a stun gun twice before stopping. Minor details.

Here are a few more news items for you edification:

• Giant penis visible from outer space (And no, it's not mine. Actually that's probably fortunate.)
• A cold one for man's best friend
• Bald eagle carrying severed deer head causes power outage (happens all the time around here, I don't know what all the fuss is about)

Today's birthdays are brought to you by the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile:

• Portia De Rossi (well, well, so soon after her beau!)
• Minnie Driver
• Justin Timberlake
• Carol Channing
• Ernie Banks
• Queen Beatrix
• Philip Glass
• Anthony LaPaglia (I never realized he was Australian until I saw Lantana)
• Norman Mailer
• Suzanne Pleshette
• Johnny Rotten
• Nolan Ryan
• Jessica Walter (more Arrested Development goodness)
• Patricia Velasquez (holy moly, it's Marta from Arrested Development. This is getting spooky)