Waiting For The Happy Pills To Kick In
I've been out of sorts lately. Very out of sorts. In fact, I'm depressed. And I'm not just throwing that term around. I mean cain't sleep, cain't eat, don't want to get out of bed clinically depressed. In fact, I haven't wanted to do much of anything the last few days. I went to the doctor last Monday and asked for some chemical assistance.
It isn't easy for me to write about this. I don't know if it's some stupid macho thing, or just my thing, but to some degree I don't like admitting that I need help with this. I want to be strong enough to just suck it up and deal, but I know that's not realistic. I should know better, I have dealt for a large part of my life with migraines, so I've dealt with people that thought I was faking feeling like shit to get out of something because there was no obvious or physical injury. Why should this be any different? I don't know, for some reason there is some kind of stigma in our society associated with depression, when there really shouldn't be. And not only that, but one reason I was keen to get the pills was because I took them on another occasion about 9 years ago, and they helped me tremendously. I'm hoping that is the case again. So far I don't feel any better, but I remember that it took 2 or 3 weeks last time to start feeling better. For now I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other...
It isn't easy for me to write about this. I don't know if it's some stupid macho thing, or just my thing, but to some degree I don't like admitting that I need help with this. I want to be strong enough to just suck it up and deal, but I know that's not realistic. I should know better, I have dealt for a large part of my life with migraines, so I've dealt with people that thought I was faking feeling like shit to get out of something because there was no obvious or physical injury. Why should this be any different? I don't know, for some reason there is some kind of stigma in our society associated with depression, when there really shouldn't be. And not only that, but one reason I was keen to get the pills was because I took them on another occasion about 9 years ago, and they helped me tremendously. I'm hoping that is the case again. So far I don't feel any better, but I remember that it took 2 or 3 weeks last time to start feeling better. For now I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other...
posted by JC at 9:47 PM
5 Comments:
on no...so sorry to hear that u are not doing so well. I do hope that u A) get help or B) psyche yourself out of your funk....either way, what i am trying to say is that i hope u can find some happiness soon :)
I'm sorry - I hope either the happy pills or happier circumstances change things really soon. You know I know how you feel.
I'm sorry your down JC, and you're right, the meds take 2-3 weeks to kick in. I hope they work and I'm glad you were brave enough to reach out and get help. It is such a stigma in our lives about meds and depression and therapy, but you've reached beyond all that to protect and take care of yourself.
Thanks for the support everyone. I know I will feel better at some point, and it helped to 'talk' about it.
I live in the same world, hon. I'm so sorry that youfeel this way. But, I;m glad you recognized it and weren't to proud or hard headed to get help.
Hang in there. It does get better!
here's a question for you...Why is there a handicap symbol next to my word ver box? Does this mean Blogger thinks I'm retarded??
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